Untitled Warrior Story

Imagine if you were a warrior in ancient Asian times. Walking from town to town with nothing but a sword and the clothes on your back. Then one day a giant dragon explodes out of the ground. The dragon's serpent-like body dwarfs the hills and plateaus. This dragon feels the great power you posses and challenges you to a fight to the death. You never speak. You accept the challenge by unsheathing your sword and getting into battle position. The dragon laughs its loud boastful laugh, then strikes at you with his mighty tail.

It is your speed and agility versus the great strength of the dragon. You dodge his mighty blows. You launch loose rubble at his face. The dragon continuously tries to squash you or eat you. The dragon never succeeds. Your skill is too great. The dragon underestimated your ability. It felt your size made you easy prey. You make sure this is the last mistake the dragon makes. 

The dragon tires from its feeble attempts to overpower you. This is when you make your move. The slightest sign of a grin forms in the corner of your mouth. You jump high into the air, just as the dragon tries to clamp its mighty jaws around you. Landing on the dragon's head, you bring your blade into the dragon's flesh. The dragon screams in pain. It curses you a thousand curses. You run the blade along his serpent body, from head to tail. You jump off as the dragon falls to the ground. The earth shakes, felt for miles around. 

You bow to your slain adversary. You wipe the dragon's blood off your blade, and return it to its sheath. You continue on to the nearest village, for rest and meditation. 

Fight For Your Right.

I came, I saw, I got High. This was the consensus amongst the thousands of people this past Saturday, Sept. 18, 2010, at the 21st Annual Boston Freedom Rally. At high noon, we potheads began converging onto Boston Common to give our support to MassCann/NORML, work on getting pot legalized, and watch amazing bands such as Onyx, Planetoid, Amber Ladd, Dj Slim, Superpower, and Termanology. We also came to smoke a lot of weed. I have attended the Boston Freedom Rally for the past five years, and this year was definitely the best. That means next year someone will have to give out free weed just to top it.

One part of the equation of the awesomeness of this year's rally is the Massachusetts law of cannibus decriminalization. Saturday marked the second year that the MassCann sponsored festival operated with a little less worry. Under this proposition states that being caught with up to an ounce of marijuana is punishable with a $100 fine. Under the former law, violators faced up to six months in jail, a fine of up to $500, and the listing of the offense on their criminal record.So everyone was a little more relaxed when smoking in front of the police. Only 34 people were given the $100 citations. Of course I did see one asshole park ranger take some people's pipes away. He even broke apart someone's blunt right in front of him. Despite that, everything was groovy.

Another important factor was the folks who helped organize the event and some of the speakers who came out to show us the way to the promise land. There were the generals of the revolution such as Mike Cann, Scott Gacek, Keith Saunders, Danny Danko of High Times Magazine and the King of Pot Michael Malta. Their day to day battles are a key source of putting together the Freedom Rally and helping us make cannibus legal. Also out to shout some sense into the masses was Jim Fowler, Daddio, and Stacia Cosner of the organization, Students For A Sensible Drug Policy. Green-Rainbow gubernatorial candidate Jill Stein even took the stage to show support of the cause. Of course I can't forget about my brother Dex Ter who held it down and took no prisoners as MC of the main stage.

The great performances are key part of the Boston Freedom Rally. The previous twenty years brought us some unforgettable memories, and this year did not disappoint. First all I have to say is Onyx. Fuckin' Onyx showed up and blew everybody's mind. It's not very often you get to see living legends perform, for free.

Everyone was highly impressed with Grammy award nominee Tracy Bonham. Planetoid absolutely ripped a hole in reality during their set. DJ Slim provided us with an anthem for the movement with his song "Legalize It". As cover bands go, Age Against the Machine rule. Then there were something like twenty other acts that brought their A game.

So a word to all of you patriots reading this. You can't save the world with a concert, but you can save the world by voting.

Bent Knee unveils "Styrofoam Heart"

When I got word that Courtney Swain and Ben Levin of Johnny Stranger had started a new project called Bent Knee, I was intrigued. From knowing these two individuals for their musical talent and for being extremely silly bastards, I couldn't wait to hear what they would come up with. So I went to the Bent Knee website (www.bentkneemusic.com) and checked out their first single Styrofoam Heart. I have to say, it's really fuckin' good.

Courtney begins the tale with a simple piano melody and chilling vocals that are normally found on the hills of Iceland. Then Bent Knee kicks it up a few notches when Ben and the gang bust down the door like the Kool Aid man. You get a musical workout with Ben Levin's sexy guitar playing accompanied by Riley Hagan on bass and Tyler LeVander on drums. The last couple minutes of the song is a cool down period to calm your heart rate down. Eric Law on cello helps put a dark undertone to the song that gives it the sauce to make your mouth water. They finish you off so well you need a cigarette. Styrofoam Heart is perfect for everybody, from the girls jamming out in their cars to the freshman doing heroin in their college dorms.

Happy Birthday Lindsay

Lindsay Lohan is not usually someone that I care to give much attention too. I could care less about whatever problems she may have or what she tweets about. The reason for this is, I have a life.

An interesting story involving Miss Lohan did catch my eye. It seems that while Lindsay was out celebrating her 24th birthday during the early hours of Friday morning at club Voyeur, she got punched in the face. For no reason.

No Way!

Yes Way!

Apparently cocktail waitress, Jasmine Waltz, punched Lindsay for talking to her ex, British Rugby hunk Danny Cipriani. If you have never heard of Jasmine Waltz, (because I sure as hell never have, but I guess that makes me weird) she dates some of Hollywood's most mediocre stars such as Ryan Seacrest and Jesse McCartney. Lindsay should have known if that dick has Waltz's stank on it, to stay the fuck away.

So now Lindsay says Jasmine hit her. Jasmine claims she didn't, “All I have to say is that disturbed little train wreck is delusional. I didn't hit her, but I would like to." Me too, Jasmine, me too.

This is not a cool way for Lindsay Lohan to celebrate her 24th Birthday/ July 4th weekend. She already has to limit her drinking due to a court ordered ankle bracelet(totally ruining all of her outfits.) Poor Miss Lohan is definitely having a bummer of a time. So now she has to deal with being sober, getting smacked like a bitch, and she had to show up to see the judge earlier today. Well lucky for Lindsay Lohan she has a few more years of being hot to use up before fading in to nobody gives a shit land.

Pray For Polanski performing "Fly, Fly" for their Cd release show for "The Death of Dennis Patrick Robbins" at Great Scott in Allston, MA 07/13/09.

The show was freakin' awesome. Pray For Polanski were tight performing their new songs. Aviv's song writing talents are superb and he wails on the guitar. Anne's vocals bring me back to the good ol' days when folk was king. Andrew beats the bass like it owns him money. Michael Clark (who also produced the album) hops on the drums and does not disappoint.

I can't wait for Pray for Polanski's next show.

My Geekdom Won't Allow Me To See the Wolverine Movie

On May 1st X-Men Origins: Wolverine opened in theaters everywhere. When I had first heard this movie was coming out, I was extremely excited. A wolverine movie should be awesome, right? Not when some hollywood jerkoffs who have no idea what they're doing get a hand oo it. Sure the special effects look really good. The film will be an action packed sensation. I just can't justify spending ten dollars on seeing this joke on the big screen. My problem is that I have been reading X-men and Wolverine comics since I was knee high. There are a few discrepancies that I have a problem with. And Gambit being in the movie is not enough for me. They only threw him in there because people have been crying about it since X-Men 1 came out.

I have decided to boycott this film for several reasons:

* I still don't like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Wolverine isn't six foot two and a pretty boy. Wolverine should be a short, hairy, bruiser type. Hugh Jackman's interpretation of the character just screams pussy.
* Cyclops and Wolverine first met (according to the movie timeline) back in Canada during the first movie. Why is he in Origins? NO continuity is a big pet peeve of mine.
* Wolverine has a wrestling match with the Blob. Another fuck up with continuity. In the first X-men movie, Blob is one of the students at the school.
* Why is Emma Frost in the movie? Emma Frost aka "the White Queen" was never part of the weapon x program nor did she have any dealings with Wolverine at that time. Also Emma's mutant power is telepathy. She gained her diamond shell mutation later in the comic books. In
the movie, they have it all wrong. I think they put her in as filler.
* Ryan Reynold's Deadpool. Completely unnecessary. I understand why they put him in the film, but he doesn't even have the costume. Another pretty boy fuck up.

So my point is that the production team for the Wolverine have decided to go for shine instead of content. This is usually what's wrong with comic book movies. Everyone wants to rush and cram a bunch of cool characters and flashy special effects into a movie. They never learn that you could be accurate and flashy. So I am waiting the three months when Wolverine will be out on cable.

My Mom's Macaroni and Cheese is better than your Mom's

That's right, I said it. My mom's mac and cheese kicks your mom's macaroni and cheese's ass.

I know what you're thinking. There's no way I'm telling the truth. You lived your whole life thinking your mother made the best macaroni and cheese on the planet. My mom must make kraft or something and I have no idea what i am talking about.

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

It has been declared by an official survey that my dear mother makes the best macaroni and cheese in the world. The Universe title is still pending. The survey also shows that your mom and her mac & cheese suck ass.

My Mom hand picks each piece of elbow macaroni and boils it to perfect tenderness. Next she uses five different cheeses. Not that velvetta shit either, the real shit nigga. Then my mother adds some spices and a magic potion that she acquired from a cloaked gentleman, in a dark alley, during a full moon, on a tuesday. Then voila!, the most perfect macaroni and cheese in the world.
I know you're upset, it's a shock, I understand. Tell your mom to either kick up her game or accept being second best. Bitch!